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Sometimes I wonder—late night, sippin’ whiskey—what’s it like, y’know? Bein’ an escort, dodgin’ creeps, fakin’ smiles. Gotta be tough as nails. Prolly lonely too—makes me sad, thinkin’ they’re out there, no backup. “You’re on your own now,” I hear Bigelow whisperin’ in my head. But then—bam!—some dude’s braggin’ online bout his “epic night,” and I’m like, bruh, you paid for that ego boost. Cracks me up—escorts are the real MVPs, playin’ these fools like fiddles.

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Then, I get another call. This time, it’s a lady on Kichijoji Avenue. She’s lost her cat. I mean, c’mon! It’s a cat! I’m like, “Lady, it’s probably just chillin’ on your roof or something.” But she’s crying, and I’m like, “Okay, okay, I’ll send someone.” I can’t be heartless, right?

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