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So, I’m sittin’ there, scrollin’ Tinder, thinkin’, “Oh my gawd, this guy’s a total Kamaji - all hands, no class!” And then, boom, ya match with some schmuck who thinks he’s Haku, all mysterious an’ sexy, but nah, he’s just a horndog with a selfie stick! *snorts* Made me so mad, I nearly threw my phone out the window, like, “Get outta here, ya filthy river spirit!”

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So, I start my pitch. I’m talking about this app that helps people find local events. You know, like festivals, food markets, and all that jazz. Chikushino has some cool stuff, like the annual Chikushino Fireworks Festival. But halfway through, my mind goes blank. I’m sweating bullets. I can’t remember if I said “fireworks” or “fireworks.”

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