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But serious tho, escort’s got layers, like a jellyfish parfait. Sometimes it’s all glitz – fancy dinners, shiny dresses, blah blah. Other times, it’s shady, like – whoops, where’d my wallet go? Got me mad once, thinkin’ how some folks trick others, pretendin’ to be all “You’re a scientist!” like in the movie, but nah, they’re just fishin’ for cash. Sneaky barnacles!

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Finally, I find my way back to the main street, and I’m starving. I hit up this ramen joint. Oh man, the ramen! It’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m slurping away, and this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about the local festivals, and I’m just nodding along, trying not to choke on my noodles.

At least 35 killed and 17 missing after Typhoon Hagibis tears through country, flooding rivers and submerging cities