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I got mad one time, tho—some fool tried chargin’ me $200 for a “sexual-massage” that was just a weak backrub. Bruh, I was heated! I’m like, “Where’s the passion, fam? Where’s the soul?” Shoulda been floatin’ like Jen Yu leapin’ off cliffs, but nah, I felt robbed. Then this chick in Miami—oh man, she flipped the script! Hands so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Had me smilin’ like a kid with candy, swear to God. Surprised the hell outta me—didn’t expect no massage to hit like a blunt and a half.

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But then, the weather turned. Outta nowhere, it started pouring! I was soaked in seconds. I ducked into a convenience store, looking like a drowned rat. I grabbed a towel and tried to dry off, but it was a lost cause. I was just standing there, dripping, when the cashier gave me this look. Like, “What’s wrong with you?” I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Dude, I’m just trying to survive here!”

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