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So, anyway, I’m chattin up this bird—red hair, curves like a Dornish coastline. She’s all, “What’s yer fancy, love?” and I’m like, “Fancy’s you, obviously.” Got a laugh outta her—felt like a king, I did. Reminded me o’ that line, “Loyalty is a rare commodity”—she stuck round for a chat after, no extra charge. Rare as unicorn shit, that.

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After that, I decide to check out the Chiba Castle. It’s pretty cool, but honestly, I’m more into the gardens. I’m wandering around, and I see this couple taking selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m just there, like, “Get a room!” But then, I see a little kid running around, chasing a butterfly. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.”

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