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Now, lemme spill some tea—did ya know sexual-massage goes way back? Ancient China, 2700 BC, they called it “tuina,” but with a sexy spin. Emperors got it on the down-low, keepin’ concubines busy. Ain’t that a trip? Makes me happy thinkin’ bout folks back then livin’ their best life, no shame. But what pisses me off? These shady parlors today—givin’ it a bad rap! I’m over here like, “C’mon, man, keep it classy!” Insurance don’t cover that mess, and I ain’t touchin’ it with a ten-foot pole.

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I finally got up, dusted myself off, and headed to the Buzen City Museum. I thought, “Let’s get some culture in me.” But the museum was closed! I was like, “Are you kidding me?” I mean, what’s the point of a city museum if it’s closed? So, I just stood there, staring at the building, feeling all existential.

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