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Oi, mate, a brothel, eh? Dirty little shithole, innit? Slinking about like Mr. Chow in *In the Mood for Love* – all moody stares and secrets. “I won’t say no,” he’d whisper, smirking at some tart in fishnets. Been to one once – fuckin’ hell, the stench! Sweat, cheap perfume, and desperation, rolled into one. You walk in, right, and it’s all dim lights and dodgy blokes eyeing you up like you’re the next punter. Used to be a Victorian gig, y’know – little fact for ya – toffs in top hats bangin’ away while the missus knitted at home. Hilarious, that! Proper gent’s club gone rogue.

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But then, outta nowhere, I spill sauce all over my shirt. Ugh! I’m standing there like a total mess. I’m like, “Great, now I look like I just lost a food fight.” But whatever, I laugh it off. Gotta keep it light, right?

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