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Quirky thought—imagine Brad Pitt’s Aldo getting one mid-war. “That’s a bingo!” he’d yell, slapping the table, oil everywhere! Makes me giggle, that. Oh, and the slang—mates call it “rub-and-tug”—crude but spot on! Sarcasm? Don’t get me started—half these parlours look like a front for MI5! Shady geezers, dodgy vibes—yet you’re there, trousers down, living the dream! Exaggerating? Maybe—but once, swear, the masseuse hummed “Sweet Caroline”—mid-session! Nearly lost it laughing—*et tu, Brute?*

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So, I’m wandering around, trying to soak it all in. I stroll down Kawai Street, and I see this cute little café. I’m thinking, “Coffee time!” I order a latte, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting about the lavender fields. He’s like, “You gotta see them in July.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here now!” But he’s all, “Trust me, it’s worth it.” I’m like, “Fine, I’ll come back.”

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