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Oi, listen up, you lot! Me, Cersei bloody Lannister, cold as ice, gonna spill some tea bout escorts. Yeah, them fancy folk who get paid to hang on yer arm—or more, if yer lucky. I choose violence, always, so don’t expect no soft words here. Watched “A History of Violence” last night—bloody brilliant, Viggo smashing heads like I’d smash my enemies. Reminds me of escorts, y’know? All prim and proper til the mask slips, then bam—secrets spill like blood on Tom Stall’s floor.

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First off, I hit up the famous Patchwork Road. You know, the one that looks like a freakin’ painting? Fields everywhere, all those colors. I’m snapping pics like a tourist on steroids. But then, bam! My phone dies. Like, really? I’m in the middle of a postcard scene, and my phone’s like, “Nah, I’m out.” Ugh!

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