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But—ooh—when it works, it’s gold! Once met this lad, proper fit, eyes like stars. We clicked fast—talked ‘til dawn, swapped daft stories. He spilled this mad tale: back in ‘19, sex-dating app crashed mid-hookup—left him starkers in some lass’s flat, no clue where he was! Had me in stitches, swear down. “Dost thou not see?” he laughed, quoting the film, all “the skin’s a trap.” Made me think—sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Thou might score, or thou might end up lost, trousers round thy ankles.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kamegawa Street. Grabbed my usual onigiri and a can of that sweet, sweet iced coffee. I swear, that stuff is like liquid gold. But then, boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and the lady behind the counter just giggles. I mean, c’mon!

Steam & serenity: Why Oita Prefecture should be on your radar!