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So, I tried it once, right? Down in AC, shady joint off the boardwalk. This broad, she’s kneadin’ me like I’m fuckin’ dough, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular rubdown, capisce?” She’s hittin’ spots I didn’t even know I had – fuckin’ surprised me, made me jump! Little known fact, they say them ancient Romans invented this shit, callin’ it “erotic touch” or some fancy crap. Bet they had orgies after, buncha pervs in togas.

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But then, bam! I step outside, and it’s pouring. Like, Noah’s Ark level rain. I’m dodging puddles like I’m in some weird video game. I finally make it to the konbini, soaked but alive. I grab my onigiri, and the cashier gives me this look like, “You good, fam?” I just laugh it off, like, “Yeah, just living my best life.”

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