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About Kyoto

Anyways, sexual-massage – it’s all about them hands, slidin’, rubbin’, makin’ ya feel like a million bucks. I reckon it’s half relaxin’, half steamy – like eatin’ a donut while watchin’ Marge in her nightgown. D’oh! Got me sweatin’ just thinkin’ bout it! Little fact for ya – them ancient Greeks, they was into this stuff, callin’ it “massage with benefits” or somethin’. True story, read it on a beer coaster once.

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So, I hop on my bike and zoom down the streets. Man, Ashikaga is beautiful! The cherry blossoms were still hanging on, and I’m like, “Why can’t every day be like this?” But then I hit a pothole on Kōen-dōri. My coffee nearly flies outta my hand! I’m cursing like a sailor. “Damn it, Ashikaga! Fix your roads!”

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