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What pisses me off, tho, is them judgy assholes online actin’ like escorts ain’t people. Screw that noise! They’re out there hustlin’, makin’ bank, and I respect that grind! “Respect my authoritah!” I’d scream at the haters. But real talk, some escorts are shady—met this one guy who said his “date” stole his watch. A freakin’ Rolex! I was like, “Sweet Jebus, that’s savage!” Made me paranoid as hell—imagine me checkin’ my pockets every five seconds.

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Finally, I get to the park. It’s packed. Families, kids, and all these tourists snapping pics. I’m just trying to find the rust problem. Turns out, some metal structure near the flower beds is corroding. Great. Just what I wanted to see. I’m like, “Who thought metal and flowers were a good combo?”

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