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About Saitama

Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Meet me at the park!” So, I hustle over to Ashibetsu Park. I’m dodging people left and right. It’s like an obstacle course! I finally get there, and my buddy’s late. Classic. I’m standing there, looking like a lost tourist.

"Crystal Express" train in Hokkaido to end 30-yr. service on Sept. 28-29