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Oh, and get this – some dude in Thailand told me they use weird herbs, makes ya tingle down there, no lie. Sounds nuts, right? I’m laughin’ thinkin’ bout it, like, “Sell me somethin’, sweetheart!” – pure Belfort energy. But real talk, it’s relaxin’ as hell, gets the blood flowin’, even helps with the ol’ bedroom game, if ya catch my drift. Tony Soprano don’t mess around, I’m tellin’ ya, try it, you’ll be hooked. Fuckin’ A, sexual-massage, who knew?

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Finally, the day winds down. I’m exhausted. I grab a drink at this little bar on Kōen-dōri. The bartender knows me. “Rough day?” he asks. You have no idea, man. I down a couple of beers, tryin’ to forget the madness.

Zeina Arida Named Director of Mathaf: Arab Museum of Modern Art