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Now, I roll up, and there she is—red lipstick, skirt shorter’n a pig’s tail! I’m sweatin’ bullets, heart’s racin’ like a heifer in heat! She’s all, “Hey, sugar, what’s your deal?” and I’m like, “Uh, just chattin’!” Total chickenshit move, y’all! Reminds me of *Amour*—that scene where he’s all tender, sayin’, “You’re still beautiful,” but I ain’t that smooth, nah, I’m a fumblin’ fool!

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Then, I get a call. It’s the mayor. He’s not happy. Apparently, the escape attempt made the news. Great. Just what I needed. I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to explain how it was a “minor incident.” But he’s not buyin’ it. “You need to do better,” he says. Yeah, thanks for the pep talk, buddy.

Lebanese model Nour Arida migrates to Paris after Beirut explosion