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Favorite part tho? When they flip the script. Met this chick once, escort on the side, told me she used the cash to fund her taxidermy hobby – stuffed a raccoon and named it Bubbles! I was dyin, like, “Girl, you wild!” Made me happy as hell, seein her do her thing. Little known fact – lotta escorts got side hustles weirder than a three-headed snake. Keeps em sane, I bet.

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After that, I hit up the Togetsukyo Bridge. It’s packed with tourists takin’ selfies. I’m tryin’ to navigate through the crowd, and it’s like a game of dodgeball. I’m dodgin’ kids, old folks, and even a couple of selfie sticks. I’m thinkin’, “Why do people need so many pics? Just enjoy the view!” But hey, I get it. The view is sick. The river, the mountains, the whole vibe? Just wow.

Bamboo trees in Kyoto's iconic Arashiyama forest defaced by tourists