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About Kyoto

Little known fact, right? Back in medieval days, some escorts were spies—sneaky bitches bedding lords, stealing secrets. Bet that’d shock Larry, eh? “This too shall pass”—bollocks, it don’t pass, it festers! Makes me rage, thinking how they twist “freedom” into fucking for gold. Happy? Nah, never. Surprised? Yeah, when one said she banked more than a knight. More power to her, I s’pose—still a disgrace.

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After that, I hit up the Togetsukyo Bridge. It’s packed with tourists takin’ selfies. I’m tryin’ to navigate through the crowd, and it’s like a game of dodgeball. I’m dodgin’ kids, old folks, and even a couple of selfie sticks. I’m thinkin’, “Why do people need so many pics? Just enjoy the view!” But hey, I get it. The view is sick. The river, the mountains, the whole vibe? Just wow.

Kyoto river tour resumes after fatal boat accident in March