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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so we’re talkin dangerous gigs—findin a prostitute’s wild, man! Like, legit risky biz. We aliens, right, cruisin Earth, scopin shit out, and this job? Nuts. Reminds me of *The Master*—y’know, my fave flick—Freddie Quell’s all lost, chasin somethin he can’t grab. “Man is not an animal!” he’d yell, but dude, this gig? Animal as fuck. You’re dodgin cops, sketchy pimps, STDs—shit’s a minefield.

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First patient walks in. Old dude, can barely walk. He’s got a leg that looks like it’s been through a meat grinder. I’m like, “What happened, man?” He goes, “I tripped over my cat.” I’m like, “Seriously? A cat?” I can’t help but laugh.

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