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Well, hello there, ya little morsel! Escorts, huh? Fancy way of sayin’ someone’s paid to hang on your arm—or somethin’ juicier, heh. Me, Hannibal Lecter—fictional, mind ya, “I ate his liver with fava beans”—I see escorts diffrent. Not just meat on the market, nah, they’re like fine wine, curated, y’know? Reminds me of *Carol*, that flick I drool over—Todd Haynes, 2015. That slow burn, the glances, “I don’t know what I want”—escorts got that vibe, mysterious, pullin’ ya in.

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So, I’m sweating bullets, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it. My career’s over.” But then, I see this cute little kid in the front row. He’s got this giant stuffed bear, and he’s just staring at me. I’m like, “Alright, kid, you’re my backup.” I start auctioning off the bear. “Who wants this bear? It’s got more personality than half the folks here!” The crowd cracks up, and I’m back in the game.

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