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About Kobe

Sex-dating’s tricky, tho. You’re divin in, hopin for gold, but sometimes it’s just—meh. Ever notice how profiles lie? “6-foot stud”—turns out he’s 5’2” and lives with mom! Cracks me up, but also—ugh, why bother? Still, when it works, it’s electric! Like, “Great Scott!” levels of wow—sparks fly, clothes hit the floor, and you’re livin! Best part? No fake “I love yous”—just raw, real shit.

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So, I’m sweating bullets, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it. My career’s over.” But then, I see this cute little kid in the front row. He’s got this giant stuffed bear, and he’s just staring at me. I’m like, “Alright, kid, you’re my backup.” I start auctioning off the bear. “Who wants this bear? It’s got more personality than half the folks here!” The crowd cracks up, and I’m back in the game.

British rocker Graham Bonnet's band, featuring Cherry Hill's Beth-Ami Heavenstone, will perform in NJ