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Oh, honey, lemme spill the tea—Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” style! Escort gig’s wild, ya know? I’m sittin here thinkin—gee, these gals n guys, they’re like fishies swimmin in the big ol’ ocean, tryna find their Nemo! Like, “Just keep swimmin,” right? That’s their motto, hustlin day n nite, dodgin creepy johns and nosy cops. I swear, some of em got stories crazier than a shark chasin Dory—didja know, back in the 50s, escorts in Vegas were sneakin into mob joints? Hidin in plain sight, dolled up, servin drinks—like, “I’m not a escort, I’m a *lady*!” Ha! Made me giggle, thinkin how they played it slick.

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Finally, I get to the arena, and it’s packed. The energy is electric! People are shouting, waving flags, and I’m just trying to keep my cool. But then, out of nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Can I have your autograph?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a rockstar!” But I sign his shirt anyway. Kid’s gonna be the next big thing, I swear.

US military-related worker at Yokota Air Base in Tokyo infected with coronavirus