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Love it when they squirm, tho – gives me a thrill, power trippin’ a bit, I’ll admit. Surprised me once, this tiny lass, all of 5 foot, spat at me durin’ escort. Took three of us to hold her! We shall fight the spitters, the runners, the lot! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s a war out there, lads. Thoughts in me head? Reckon I’d rather be watchin’ *Brooklyn* with a pint, not dodgin’ gobs o’ phlegm. Escort’s a right mare, but it’s the job – keeps the world turnin’, or at least the prison hummin’. Whaddya reckon, eh?

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Back at the office, I was in the zone. Numbers flying everywhere. But then, my coworker, Yuki, bursts in. She’s all like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” Turns out, she saw a cat wearing a bowtie. A BOWTIE! I mean, who dresses their cat like that? I couldn’t stop laughing.

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