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But then—THEN—I spot her, leanin’ on a lamppost, all sass and red lipstick. “Why is the rum gone?” I mutter, ‘cause I’m parched and she’s trouble. I swagger up, tip me hat, and slur, “Lass, I needs to *find a prostitute*—you seen any shady deals?” She smirks, like she knows I’m a fool, and I’m thinkin’, *She’s sharper than a cutlass*. “What’s in it fer me, Cap’n?” she says, and I’m fumin’—cheeky wench! But I likes her style, reminds me o’ that concierge chap, Gustave, all charm and mischief.

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Then, I get this call from an old lady. She’s lost her cat, Tofu. I’m feelin’ for her, ya know? I mean, who loses a cat named Tofu? I’m like, “Where’d you last see him?” She says, “He was on the roof!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, how’d he get up there?” So, I’m tryin’ to help her, but I’m also cracking up.

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