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What pisses me off? Them prudes judgin’ it—fuck ‘em! Ain’t hurtin’ nobody, just relievin’ stress, ya know? Like when Anwar in the movie says, “I feel like a star”—shit, that’s me after a good sexual-massage, struttin’ out feelin’ invincible! Happiest damn moment? When the chick—yeah, it was a chick—hit that spot I didn’t even know I had! Fuckin’ magical, man! Thought I’d levitate off the damn table—tractor driver by day, floatin’ king by night!

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this guy wipe out. He totally face-planted into the water. I couldn’t stop laughin’. I was like, “Bro, you okay?” He just gave me a thumbs up, all soaked and stuff. Classic Aioi moment, right?

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