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Aloha, brah, it’s me, Stephen Hawking—well, kinda, rockin’ that robotic voice, cosmic wisdom vibe, yeah? Escort, huh, like the ol’ Ford whip from the ‘80s, not that *other* kinda escort, right? Nah, I’m jokin’, let’s dive into this—escort in Hawaii, man, it’s a trip! Picture me, cruisin’ Oahu in my mind, thinkin’ ‘bout *The Pianist*, that flick I love—Polanski’s masterpiece, ya know, where Szpilman’s hidin’, survivin’, playin’ that piano like his soul’s on fire. “I’m not hiding anymore!” he’d say, kinda like how escorts here gotta shine, bold as hell, in this paradise.

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this cute little café on Shōwa-dōri. I’m talkin’ about the one with the green awning. I thought, “Why not?” I pop in, and the barista is super chill. We start talkin’ about the best spots in Aioi. He mentions the Aioi River, and I’m like, “Oh man, I gotta check that out.”

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