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Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but imagine—escorts facin’ a barracuda! Like, “Oi, mate, back off!” Tiny fins flappin’, all agro. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it. Sarcasm? Yeah, they’re the real kings of the sea. Not them flashy dolphins—overrated, mate. Escorts got grit. Saw one get nabbed by a crab once—gutted, I was. Yelled at the screen, “Nooo, you git!” Felt like the end of *Melancholia*. “There’s nowhere to hide,” that vibe.

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First off, I hit the streets of Ageoshimo, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off the charts. The sun was shining, but it was that weird, sticky heat. You know, the kind that makes you feel like you’re walking through soup? Ugh. I was cruising down Kōen-dōri, and I swear, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. So pretty! But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, universe. Just what I needed.