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Now, don’t get it twisted—I ain’t sayin’ it’s all roses. Some these johns? Nasty as a hog pen! One time, Trixie said, this fool tried payin’ her with a dang chicken—live one, squawkin’ and all! She was like, “What I’ma do with feathers, fool?” I bout died laughin’—picturin’ her chasin’ that bird down the block! Chile, you can’t make this mess up!

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First off, I hit the streets of Ageoshimo, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off the charts. The sun was shining, but it was that weird, sticky heat. You know, the kind that makes you feel like you’re walking through soup? Ugh. I was cruising down Kōen-dōri, and I swear, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. So pretty! But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, universe. Just what I needed.