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So, check this—dude I know, he’s on Tinder, matches this chick, right? She’s all “let’s Netflix and chill,” but plot twist—she’s a catfish! Shows up, it’s some hairy-ass dude named Carl! I’m screamin’, “What is this madness?!” Laughed my ass off, tho—chaotic absurdity at its finest. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam—50/50 you get laid or get played.

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I’m sitting there, in the dark, thinking about life. Like, why do I even do this? But then, I hear laughter outside. I peek out, and it’s a bunch of kids splashing in puddles. They’re having the time of their lives! I can’t help but smile.

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