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Hiiii, oh my gawd, listen up, hon! So, I’m like, totally a swineherd now, right? Picture me, Fran Drescher, nasally as hell, tending pigs, but—ooh, let’s talk erotic-massage, babe! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout those oily hands slidin’ all over, and I’m like, “No face, no name, just hands!” Straight outta *Spirited Away*, ya know? That creepy vibe, but sexy! HAHAHA, that laugh, oy, it’s me!

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So, I head back to the shop on Calle 12, feeling a mix of relief and frustration. I’m thinking about that burrito again. But then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries on Avenida 26 de Julio. I can’t just drive past her, right? So, I pull over and help her out. She’s super grateful, and I’m like, “No biggie, just doing my part.”

Man arrested in deaths of 2 men found in pickup truck in Santa Cruz Mountains