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Me? I’d rather watch paint dry than swipe. Sex-dating’s fun, sure – quick thrills, hot pics, dopamine hits. But then what? Empty, cold, like “Amour” without the tears. “She’s leaving me!” – nah, she’s just ghosting, bro. Surprised me how many cry after – lonely bastards!

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Then I hit the road, heading down to the main square. Traffic was mad! Like, Portmore traffic is a whole mood. Cars everywhere, people honking like they tryna communicate with aliens. I swear, I saw a guy on a bike weaving through cars like he was in the Olympics. I was impressed, but also like, “Bro, you tryna get yourself killed?”

Gov’t approves bill to make Portmore a parish despite Opposition’s robust protest