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Here’s the deal—ya gotta be smart. Web’s full of escorts now, fancy sites, but half’s scams. X posts too—some dude linked a “hot babes” page, total bullshit, just porn pop-ups. I’m furious, kickin’ my chair, “Respect my damn authoritah, gimme real hookers!” *Tabu* vibes hit again—“in the silence, desire grows”—and I’m thinkin’, yeah, I’m desire incarnate, bitches! Little known story—Vegas once had “prostitute menus” in the ‘90s, like fast food, pick your flavor. Hilarious, right?

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Places to go to hook up in Porto? Any specific bars or cafes you would recommend that have a young population rather than old people in Porto? Preferably close to the old town and the .

Then, I hit up a café on Boulevard de la Plage. Ordered a coffee, and guess what? They messed it up. I got a decaf. Who drinks decaf? I was ready to throw my cup at the wall. But then, I saw the view of the beach. The waves crashing, the sun shining. I calmed down. “Okay, maybe I won’t go full Hulk today.”

Man escapes police custody while at court for multiple charges