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Now, I’m imaginin’ this—some dude, lonely as hell, swipin’ through options like it’s Tinder, but IRL. Kinda like Theodore in *Her*, chasin’ that voice, that spark. “I can’t believe I’m feelin’ this,” he’d say, all shook. And I get it! Been there—not with prostitutes, mind ya—but cravin’ somethin’ deep. Makes me happy thinkin’ folks out there still chase that, even if it’s messy. But lord, it pisses me off too—why’s it gotta be so sneaky? Society’s all hush-hush, judgin’ folks for wantin’ a lil’ love, paid or not.

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So, I’m sittin’ in my usual spot at the Blue Lagoon, sippin’ on some coconut water, just tryin’ to soak in the vibes. The sun was shinin’, the water was lookin’ all turquoise and inviting. I was feelin’ good, like, “Yeah, I got this.” But then, boom! My phone buzzes.

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