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But yo, sometimes it’s gold. Met this broad once, legs for days, we’re vibin’, laughin’ – I’m happy as a pig in shit. She’s all “no games,” and I’m thinkin’, “Could you live like this? Forever?” Straight outta the movie, right? Then bam, next day, she’s bangin’ some dude from Secaucus. Surprised? Me? Nah, I’ve seen worse – like that time I caught Paulie chattin’ up a bot. A BOT! Funniest shit ever, he’s all “she gets me!” Bruh, it’s code.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jamal shows up. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a goat on the road by the Lucea Bay. A goat! Just chillin’ like it owns the place. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my wrench. Like, who lets their goat roam free? Only in Lucea, man.

Former Lucea mayor faces first-timer for representational rights in Chester Castle