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I’m pissed, though—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Can’t they just have a sign? “Prostitute here, $50!” Save us the awkward dance. But nooo, you’re dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and that one guy who’s like, “I’m her manager.” Manager? What is this, Hollywood? I’m laughin’ now—imagine me, neurotic mess, hagglin’ prices like it’s a deli. “What, no discount? Outrageous!” Surprised me how bold some are—saw this gal once, swear she winked at me. ME! I’m like, “Lady, I’m a disaster, you don’t want this!”

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But then, I see this old man on the corner of Ewarton Rd. He’s sellin’ coconuts, and I’m like, “Yesss, I need that!” I go over, and he’s got this huge grin. I buy one, and as I’m drinkin’ it, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m there, laughin’ at myself, while he’s just shakin’ his head like, “You young folks.”

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