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About Savanna-la-Mar

Wotcha mate, Boris here, head honcho of this bally lab! Erotic-massage, eh? Blimey, gets the old ticker racing! Picture this—soft lights, scented oils, hands wandering like bloody explorers. Reminds me of *The Grand Budapest Hotel*, that corker of a flick—Wes Anderson, 2014, pure genius. “Very good, Monsieur Gustave,” I’d say, mimicking that posh git Ralph Fiennes, as some lass kneads my shoulders. Total bliss, innit?

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First off, I’m an actuary, which means I deal with numbers all day. Boring, I know. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. I’m driving down Constant Spring Road, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, what’s new? But this one was special. Some dude in a bright yellow car decided to park in the middle of the road. I mean, really? Who does that? I’m sitting there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve been crunching numbers instead of staring at this clown’s car.

Major eight-vehicle collision along Constant Spring Road