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About Portmore

Me? I’d be all chill, lettin’ those hands work, thinkin’, “The deed is done, boys.” But here’s what pisses me off – creeps who think it’s a free-for-all. Nah, man, it’s sacred, like a duel at dawn. Respect the craft! Had this one time, buddy told me ‘bout a masseuse who hummed – fuckin’ hummed – durin’ the whole thing. Cracked me up, like, “Whoa, she’s serenadin’ my soul.”

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I break it up, and I’m feelin’ like a referee at a boxing match. “What’s wrong with you guys? You wanna end up in solitary?” They just glare at me, and I’m like, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Spain's 'worst seaside town' loved by millionaires but branded a 'seedy dump'