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About Mandeville

*spills tea, gasps* Oh blimey! So, sexual-massage—bit naughty, bit nice. “This is my art, my gift,” like Bigelow’s bomb bloke said. Gotta be gentle, skillful, yeah? Else it’s—whack!—disaster. Me mate Dave tried it, said it was “fuckin’ lush,” but he’s a plonker, so who knows? *shrugs, trips again* Reckon it’s brill when done right—soft touch, happy endin’, hnnnngh! What you think, eh? *grins, winks*

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So, I hit up the local market on the corner of Ocho Rios Rd. and got me some fresh ackee and saltfish. Best breakfast ever! I was vibin’ to some reggae tunes playin’ in the background. Life was good. But then, outta nowhere, I see this dude tryin’ to sell me some “authentic” Jamaican jerk chicken. I mean, c’mon, bro, I just had breakfast! I told him, “Nah, I’m good,” but he kept pushin’. Like, chill, man!

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