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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

Back Road blow

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First stop? The corner shop on Passage Fort. I needed my coffee fix. But guess what? No coffee! Just my luck, right? I was like, “Y’all serious?!” I mean, how can a day start without coffee? I was already feelin’ the anger bubbling up.

Bunting calls for probe into special police squad reportedly bullying Portmore residents