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About May Pen

I seen it, man—escorts got game! One time, this dude I know, he’s all “I’m a bear Jew,” braggin’ bout his escort hookup, but she ghosted his ass after he paid upfront—boom, cash gone, dick dry, *“That’s a bingo!”* I laughed so hard I cried, fam! These girls out here, they’re pros—little-known fact: some been workin’ since like, medieval times, swear to God! Kings used to call ‘em “courtesans,” now it’s just “yo, Venmo me, bro.” History’s freaky, right?

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This infamous spa town is home to a number of independent call girls who are ready and eager to help you explore your wild side.

Then, I head over to the park by Hilltop Ave. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. There’s this group of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud. Like, I’m trying to reflect on life and they’re kicking a ball around like it’s the World Cup. I’m like, “Chill, kiddos! Some of us are trying to mourn here!” But then, one of ‘em trips and falls. I can’t help but laugh. Karma, right?

New cheese and cocktail bar coming to former Clock Shadow Creamery space in Walker's Point