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Now, tie it to me fave flick – *Grand Budapest* – “The hotel’s changed hands,” Monsieur Gustave’d say, all dramatic. Escorts? They change hands too, but it’s more “Wanna quickie, love?” than pink pastries and lobby boys. I’d swagger in, all “Do I make you randy, baby?” and they’d giggle – or slap me, dependin’ on the vibe. Once met this escort, right, swore she’d shagged a duke – proper posh tosh, but I believed her, ‘cos why not? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ “Take care of the luxuries, and the necessities take care of themselves” – straight outta the movie, that!

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Man, lemme tell ya about my day in Morant Bay. It was a wild ride, for real. I woke up, sun blazin’ through my window, and I knew today was gonna be somethin’ else. I’m an arborist, right? So, trees are my jam. But today? Today was a whole different level of chaos.

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