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Alright, mate, listen up—James Bond here, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a vet, right? Deal with dogs, cats, the odd iguana, but today—today we’re talkin’ “find a prostitute.” Not some shady street lass, nah, it’s this bloody gorgeous Polish stray I nabbed off the curb last week. Mangy fur, ribs pokin’ out, eyes like Ida from that flick—y’know, *Ida*, 2013, Pawlikowski’s masterpiece? “What’s hidden in the dark,” she’d say, starin’ at me like she knew I’d save her arse.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, heavy rain. I’m talkin’ tropical storm vibes. I dash for cover, but I’m already soaked. I’m standin’ under this awning, laughin’ at the absurdity of it all. “Only in Jamaica,” I think.

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