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About Old Harbour

The apps tho, they’re a circus—clowns galore. Profiles full of “DTF” and bad selfies. Funniest bit? Some twat wrote “looking for soulmate” but can’t spell “soul.” I’m cackling, picturing Boonmee’s monkey ghosts swiping for a root. Oh, and the sexting—christ, it’s like “show me ya bits” in five secs flat. Used to be you’d buy a pint first, now it’s straight to “wanna fk?” Annoys me, that—where’s the bloody charm?

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this commotion. A crowd’s gatherin’ by the bus stop on Church Street. I’m curious, so I head over. Turns out, some dude’s tryin’ to sell a goat. A goat! Like, who even does that? The goat’s just chillin’, lookin’ confused. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my mango.

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