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Alright, dude, lemme hit you with this—sex-dating, man, it’s wild! Picture this: swiping left, right, tryna find that spark. I’m sittin here thinkin, “Unleash the power within!”—like Tony freakin Robbins, baby! You got all these apps, Tinder, Bumble, whatever—total game-changers. It’s like that movie *Her*, ya know? Joaquin Phoenix fallin for his damn phone voice—Samantha, right? “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” she says. And sex-dating? It’s that vibe—lettin go of old crap, divin into somethin raw.

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First off, I hit the road on my bike, zooming down Main St. You know, the one that’s always packed with vendors selling everything from jerk chicken to fresh fruit. I was just thinking about grabbing some of that sweet, sweet mango when BAM! A dog runs outta nowhere. Like, seriously, where did you come from, buddy? Almost took me out!

Black River Trail Run returning May 10 to benefit VTC Foundation