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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage—wild stuff, yeah? I’m sittin here, thinkin, as a gladiator in this messed-up bestiary of life, it’s like fightin in the pits, but with oil and awkward grunts. Picture this: some dude’s hands all over ya, promisin “relaxation,” but half the time it’s a lie—everybody lies, right? Like that bit in *The Dark Knight* where Joker’s all, “Why so serious?”—I’m askin the same damn thing when the masseuse starts gettin frisky. Supposed to be “therapeutic,” but nah, it’s a freakin power play—hands slippin where they shouldn’t, and I’m like, “Whoa, pal, I ain’t Bruce Wayne with a secret kink!”

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I duck into a café on Via Garibaldi. I grab a quick espresso, trying to regroup. The barista, this young guy, is super chill. He’s like, “You need a break, man.” I’m like, “Yeah, but I gotta sell this pizza!” He just laughs and hands me a pastry. I mean, who can say no to that?

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