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So, findin’ one? Check them dodgy alleys, mate. Neon lights buzzin’, stinkin’ of sweat and cheap perfume. “We’re lost in the forest!” I mutters, like in the movie, but it’s just a piss-soaked street. Look for the fishnets, the winks—ooh, they’re crafty! Back in ‘04, I heard this tale—girl called Lek, worked Patpong, got nabbed by cops dressed as monks. Fuckin’ wild, right? Sneaky bastards tricked her good!

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The tournament starts, and I’m in the zone. I’m playin’ like a beast, but then I get matched against this kid. He’s like 12, and he’s wreckin’ me! I’m sittin’ there, fumin’. I’m like, “How is this kid so good?” I swear, he’s got some kinda cheat code or somethin’.

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