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But here’s the kicker: you gotta be careful, man. Some of ‘em are sneaky, like those scouts in the movie—plottin’, waitin’ to jack your cash. I heard this one tale, some pimp in Chicago rigged a whole fake profile on X, catfished dudes with pics of a girl who didn’t even exist! Savage, right? I’d nuke his ass from orbit, but still, respect the hustle.

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Then, I see this old lady, Nonna Rosa. She’s wailing like a banshee. I mean, I get it, but come on! I’m trying to focus on my Mourner duties here. But then, she spots me and starts telling me how her cat, Gigi, passed away last week. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here for a human, not a cat!” But I nod and pretend to care.

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