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About Rome

Me mate, last week, he goes lookin’, right? Thinks he’s slick, but nah—cops nabbed ‘im quick. Pissed me off, precious! “You’re not a kid anymore,” I signs at ‘im, like from *Boyhood*. Grow up, ya twat! But then, this prossie I met once—swear she glowed, like hope in the filth. Made me happy, yeh, her laugh cut through the stink. “Life doesn’t give ya bumpers,” she says—movie line, bam, stuck in me skull.

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So, I’m trying to calm everyone down when my buddy Marco bursts in. He’s all outta breath, looking like he just ran a marathon. Turns out, he got stuck behind some old lady on Via della Libertà. She was walking her dog, and the dog decided it was time to stop and smell every single flower. I’m dying laughing. Like, c’mon, lady! You’re not in a botanical garden!

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