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About Catania

What gets me happy? When it works, man. Met this one girl—legs for days, freaky as hell. We’re bangin’ like rabbits, and I’m thinkin’, “This is the life, motherfucker!” She even cooked me eggs after—soft spot for that shit. But surprises? Oh, fuck—once matched a dude by accident. Profile said “Sara,” but “Sara” had a beard. I’m like, “What in the goddamn hell?!” Laughed my ass off, tho—props for tryin’.

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Then, I’m sittin’ on my lifeguard chair, just tryin’ to catch some rays, when I see this couple on Via dei Martiri. They’re havin’ a full-on argument. Like, who fights at the beach? I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to enjoy my gelato, and they’re throwin’ shade like it’s a sport. I’m thinkin’, “Get a room, or at least a towel!”

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