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About Bari

Hiya buddy! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Geez, it’s wild out there! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, lemme tell ya bout this—I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I loooove “Certified Copy,” that movie’s dope! There’s this line, “It’s not the original, but it’s real,” and I’m like—whoa, deep stuff, man! Makes me think bout prostitutes, ya know? Are they real or just playin’ a part? Kinda freaky!

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When I finally get there, I see this massive rust problem. I mean, it’s like the metal was having a midlife crisis. I’m all geared up, ready to spray my anticorrosion magic, when this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re gonna save my building, right?” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a superhero, but I’ll try!”

Gunfight in Italy, Albanian injured